I keep thinking I’m past it; that the news can’t get me any more. Then, tonight, I watched a Wall Street CEO completely crumble on Larry King Live while telling us he’d lost seven hundred employees in the collapse of the World Trade Towers. “They’re all dead—every one”, he cried, sobbing and shaking his head in disbelief even as he spoke. I cried, again, with him.

The events of September 11 will be etched on our minds forever. We’ll all remember exactly where we were and what we were doing when this happened, at exactly what point in the day we first turned on the news. “Did you see the first plane hit?” we’ll ask. While struggling to understand what happened, we may be surprised at our own reactions. We may find ourselves feeling lost in an unsettling way, and not knowing exactly how to find our way back.

When tragedy strikes, whether it’s a national disaster or a personal one, humans react in different ways. Some experience a flood of emotions that seem to sway crazily between anger and fear, hope and relief, back to anger again. Some find themselves numb, unable to feel at all. Some feel a deep sadness that’s hard to explain, a sense of panic, or even paranoia. Others experience troubling physical sensations such as trembling, chills, or brief sweats. Some may find themselves drawn to the news reports like a magnet, unable to tear themselves away. Others won’t turn on the TV or pick up the paper at all.

If you’ve suffered earlier trauma in your own life, such as childhood abuse or a frightening auto accident, your response may be even more intense. Memories and feelings long forgotten may surprise you by showing up in nightmares or flashbacks. You may be unable to sleep at all; may have trouble concentrating at work, may find yourself clinging a little tighter to your kids.

Don’t be afraid of your own reaction to the Trade Center disaster. If you’ve felt a little crazy over the past week or so, it just means you’re having a sane reaction to an insane event in our lives. This is your spirit’s way of trying to cope, to heal. To help move that process forward, it will indeed help to talk about it -- a lot. Try talking with your pastor or spiritual leader, your friends and coworkers. You may turn to prayer or meditation to find comfort. You may want to write your feelings in a journal, or draw them in bold and wildish color on a blank page. Aerobic release through exercise helps relieve tension. When it’s too much, go for a walk or a bike ride, or just run the vacuum, as fast as you can. Small rituals, such as lighting a candle for those we’ve lost, can also help.

If your reactions are interfering in your life to a significant degree, it will help to seek a professional consultation. Ask your doctor if medication might help you sleep better, or call a counselor to see if you might benefit from professional guidance.

We also find, in the midst of tragedy, unexplained blessings and surprising strength. We redefine priorities and clarify our life’s purpose. Our youth have re-discovered patriotism. Communities have come together to hold hands and hold on. Good will has poured out from all from all over the world. As one minister put it, September 11 was the day that “terrorism turned to heroism”. And of course, we’ll remember that, too.

Wendy Pitts Reeves, a licensed clinical social worker, can be reached at 681-2869 or by email at wpreeves@bellsouth.net.