A minister at UT once told me that the world changes the first of every May. "Something happens," he said. "I can't explain it… but everything goes a little crazy." He's right. Have you noticed? It's graduation season, and the activity level of any family with a high school senior has reached fever pitch. Seniors hold tight to old friends while chomping at the bit to be on their way. Moms suddenly become needy and watchful. Dads are strangely stern and seem to be at a loss for words. Younger sibs measure their big brother's bedroom, anticipating a move.

Spring, glorious spring, is in the air. It' is a time of such rich beauty and amazing transformation that it takes my breath away. Many of you might say the same as you watch your child don cap and gown. How did this happen? Where is that toddler you chased around the house? Who is this graceful young woman now standing before you?

That rich beauty and amazing transformation is happening inside households all across the county.

For those of you caught up in the launching of a child, this is a time of intense joy, fierce pride, grateful relief, and mounting anxiety. All that work, all those years of protecting, pushing and praying have come to this. Yet, even now, the work is not complete. It only grows more difficult. For the first time, he will test the strength of your teachings. For the first time, she must truly find her own way through obstacles already waiting. And now, more than ever, you've got to let them do just that.

What's a parent to do?

Find ways to let him know how proud you are, not necessarily because of his grades, but because of his completion of a difficult goal. Whether she's graduating in the top ten percent or the bottom, simply staying in the game this long is an achievement worthy of note. In the long run, straight A's will not be nearly as critical as the ability to keep going when everything around you says you can't.

Mark the occasion with family ceremony, and don't be afraid to make it a little more formal. Though they'll cringe if asked, most young people enjoy being the center of family love and attention. A party with all the trimmings is fine, but something more thoughtful might linger in their memories. Read a special prayer or poem in his honor at a family celebration. Share your memories of her birth, and your joy in her being. Raise a toast to their dreams.

Put together a Life Book of photos and memories marking transitions from child to young adult. Ask friends and relatives to write their own stories of his growing up. Add a kindergarten drawing or a 3rd grade essay. Throw in a program from his first band concert or the score from her best game. Wrap it in all the love you can muster. Present it with the message that you acknowledge her readiness to assume the responsibilities of adulthood.

After graduation, move on with the task of teaching while your relationship shifts. With the real world so close she'll need guidance in practical matters like managing finances, setting up housekeeping, evaluating apartments, checking the oil. You'll find yourself talking to him as one adult to another, and that's as it should be - though you and I know he'll still be your baby. You've done your job well, and it's changing - not ending.

Happy Graduation, Mom and Dad.

Wendy Pitts Reeves, L.C.S.W., a therapist and Rule 31 mediator with Cove Mountain Counseling in Maryville, can be reached at (865) 681-2869, or by email at wendy@covemountaincounseling.com.