It’s been said before: being a mom is surely “one of the toughest jobs you’ll ever love.” Being a mother of preschoolers is several notches above that! Many brave women elect to stay home with small children on a full or part time basis. I am humbled, awed by their sacrifice, though some try to tell me that it is no such thing.

We love our children more than life itself, and will do what we must for their safety and happiness. Truthfully, though, this is much, much harder than we feel we can ever admit. We’re supposed to be happy and fulfilled in the midst of maternal bliss. Instead, we’re often worn out, irritable, used up and –go ahead, say it- depressed.

Let me tell you what depression is.

Officially, clinical depression is a disease characterized by physical and emotional symptoms that usually happen in conjunction with changes in brain chemistry. In everyday language, it’s REAL, as anyone who’s experienced it will tell you. Some say it’s “like falling into a black hole”, “trying to walk underwater” or “moving through quicksand”.

Let me tell you what it is not.

Depression is not a sign of weakness or a lack of faith. It is not a result of poor self-discipline or a pessimistic outlook. It’s not about how strong you are, how educated, how wealthy or broke. It doesn’t mean you’re crazy or that you can’t handle your own problems. And it’s not something to be ashamed of, any more than a broken leg or high cholesterol.

Depression can zap anyone, at any age, regardless of gender, educational level, socioeconomic status, race, family strength, or spiritual discipline. One in five of us will have at least one episode at some point during our lives. Many have more than that.

Sometimes depression develops after severe stress or loss in our lives. Sometimes it strikes out of the blue for no reason at all, like a lightening bolt on a sunny day. It may last a few weeks or several months. It may happen once, or reoccur. Sometimes, with a type of depression called “dysthymia”, it’s like having a low-grade fever for years at a time, never feeling well, yet not quite sick, either.

Depression leaves you feeling sad or blue more days than not, for at least two weeks and usually longer. You may not enjoy things that used to make you happy and may pull away from friends and family. You’ll often feel tired and drained all the time, regardless of how much sleep you’ve had. If depressed, you may experience significant changes in eating or sleeping patterns (a lot more or a lot less than usual). You may find yourself thinking about death or dying, without necessarily being suicidal. You might cry easily, have trouble concentrating, and often experience a huge drop in self-esteem. You may feel guilty because you can’t will yourself out of this dark place.

But wait! There’s good news. And that’s real, too.

This disease is treatable. With the right combination of medication and psychotherapy (talk therapy), it can, and does, get better. There is no need to keep fighting. Help is available.

Talk to your doctor, your minister, your spouse, your insurance company, your best friend. Check yellow pages or the web for information about this disease, about counselors and support groups in your area. Educate yourself- and go get some help, for your child’s sake, and for your own.

Wendy Pitts Reeves, L.C.S.W., a therapist and Rule 31 mediator with Cove Mountain Counseling in Maryville, can be reached at (865) 681-2869, or by email at www.CoveMountainCounseling.com.